He needed to do something with his hands, but he couldn’t write with them trembling like that. He withdrew his little tape recorder from his briefcase and pressed record. So much for cool detachment! The meeting seemed interminably long to Theo who, by the end of the first session, had loosened his tie. He had tried to keep his eyes on the Smart Board that Sam was using for her presentation, but every now and again his eye strayed — to the soft curve of her dusky brown cheek, to the long fingers holding the pointer, to the roundness of her bottom and her wide hips, to the full lower lip, colored a brown only slightly darker than her milk-in-coffee complexion. Shit! He wouldn’t make it without a break. He stood up, hoping his pants didn’t tent in front of him, and excused himself from the table. He hoped she didn’t think he was bored or uninterested, but he could not stand another drop of the sweet chocolate of her voice. Any more, and he would be in serious danger of embarrassing. 'You must have loved her very much.'They were under the old cherry tree near the centre of the garden and she stopped to lean on the tree. He turned to face her. She looked steadily at him. He looked at her in the same way but there was no note of pain in his voice.'I did. I'd loved her for as long as I can remember. I sat behind her all through school and I loved the sight of her at my gate every morning waiting for me, I loved the back of her head in class every day. We walked home from school and played together at nights. We couldn't bear to be apart and we celebrated our final year exam successes by making love for the first time just as we'd agreed when we were thirteen years old. We planned to grow old together... ' He stopped and stepped closer, then reached up and grasped a branch above her head.'Yes, I loved her, very, very much. But she's dead, Mrs. Matteo. And life goes on. You can't let the dead past ruin the present and waste the future. That's what she said to me before.
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